dejavu...

remember this post with this picture? it was after my sisters finished the top of utah marathon last year. you'd think that i was the one running the race. i'd had a long week and just died for an entire hour while everyone else hung out and recovered from their real marathon. i was just recovering from the marathon of life :)

well, i guess what they say is true. history repeats itself.  but this time i feel like i really earned my nap :)

 image from megan

last weekend i got to run the wasatch back ragnar relay. i'm still trying to decide how i feel about the whole thing. i mean, it was a HUGE accomplishment for me to participate and finish. but i guess i'm trying to decide if i want to do it again :) it's two days later and my body still hates me.

i was runner 8. all 12 runners on our team had 3 legs to run in a little less than 36 hours. i knew my first leg would be "meh". i'd be nervous and not really know how run a real race. and it was hot. AND i forgot my music and didn't see my team until i was more than half way done. so it was "meh". 

my second leg however was something i'll never forget. it really was my dream run...nighttime, downhill, and a little on the chilly side. i usually average between a 11:30 and 12:00 minute mile (i'm really slow). but on this night during this run i ran a 9:46 mile. i still get emotional just thinking about it. 

i thought about weston the entire run. about his little heart, his surgery, the past year of our lives, the endless support and love and prayers we've received...and i just ran my little heart out. as fast as i could. and i kept going when my body was screaming at me to stop.

when i crossed the exchange line i asked the ladies from our van what my time was. they said, "11:36". my heart sank to my stomach. but come to find out, they thought i'd asked what time it was. that's when they quickly calculated my pace and told me "9:46".

and i cried.

and hugged megan.

and cried.

and wanted to throw up.

and died in the back seat of the van for the next two exchanges.

the sticker is already on the back of our van and i have to say my life does feel a little more complete knowing that i was a part of that crazy race. AND i'm already thinking about framing the medal with a caption that reads "for westie". 

i'm ecstatic for life to slow down to normal crazy instead of this "life on crack" crazy we've been living for so long. my whole being is so full of gratitude for the village of friends and family that's gotten us through this past year.

here's to exhaling :)