last night i was overwhelmed...i'm okay now. but last night, not so much. good food makes me happy so on the way home from the hospital i stopped for a nice meal all by my lonesome. that happens a lot...going out to eat by myself. sometimes i like the idea of not having to plan or prepare a meal. and come on, who doesn't like being waited on?
as i was getting out of the car i was overcome by this wave of emotion...weston was in the PICU, jon's phone was dead and he couldn't talk, and i'd hit a wall. i was scared. i didn't feel strong. and i was completely giving in to feeling sorry for myself. by the time i reached the entrance of the restaurant, i was ready to turn around. but then i heard beth orton crooning to me over the restaurant's speakers..."listen girl, you shouldn't feel so alone".
so i didn't. i walked in, sat down at the bar, ordered a meal that i'd never cook for myself and pulled out my book.
i always have at least one (sometimes two) books with me wherever i go. i never know when i'll have a couple minutes to get a few pages in. and i'll admit it. i read at stoplights.
anyway...right now one of the books in my purse is "don't try this at home: culinary catastrophes from the world's greatest chefs". the title is what attracted my attention. and it's always good to remember that even the best of us have really bad days. i read the first chapter at dinner and the message was very timely. here's my new mantra...
as i was getting out of the car i was overcome by this wave of emotion...weston was in the PICU, jon's phone was dead and he couldn't talk, and i'd hit a wall. i was scared. i didn't feel strong. and i was completely giving in to feeling sorry for myself. by the time i reached the entrance of the restaurant, i was ready to turn around. but then i heard beth orton crooning to me over the restaurant's speakers..."listen girl, you shouldn't feel so alone".
so i didn't. i walked in, sat down at the bar, ordered a meal that i'd never cook for myself and pulled out my book.
i always have at least one (sometimes two) books with me wherever i go. i never know when i'll have a couple minutes to get a few pages in. and i'll admit it. i read at stoplights.
anyway...right now one of the books in my purse is "don't try this at home: culinary catastrophes from the world's greatest chefs". the title is what attracted my attention. and it's always good to remember that even the best of us have really bad days. i read the first chapter at dinner and the message was very timely. here's my new mantra...
"Everyday is a new challenge, a new adventure, and you must never be complacent; you must always be on your toes, ready to deal with the unexpected, ready to respond - with as cool a head as you can - to whatever surprise comes."
- Ferrán AndriÃ
and although this culinary master was dealing with spoiled lobsters and 3200 people to feed, it's the principle of the thing. i don't do well with change. i like feeling in control and being prepared. i'm not that great at adapting. but i'm realizing life won't be as enjoyable if i can't take things as they come and remember the important things that i've already learned...
- Ferrán AndriÃ
and although this culinary master was dealing with spoiled lobsters and 3200 people to feed, it's the principle of the thing. i don't do well with change. i like feeling in control and being prepared. i'm not that great at adapting. but i'm realizing life won't be as enjoyable if i can't take things as they come and remember the important things that i've already learned...
peace is a choice...
faith and fear cannot co-exist...
the Lord has given us all the tools we need to overcome
the hard stuff that comes our way.
faith and fear cannot co-exist...
the Lord has given us all the tools we need to overcome
the hard stuff that comes our way.
Oh Callie! You are so wise. I love that you take the time to learn and listen and grow! You have so much going on and It is no wonder how you can deal with all of this with such stride. You know who you are and that you are not alone. You are a good example to me! Keep strong! I love that you go out to eat good food alone too! I need to do that sometime. I will remember to bring a good book too:). Your family means so much to me. We will keep you all in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteWe will pray for your little guy as well. Sorry we can't help! If you need more comfort food, here is something out of this world: get shortbread cookies and put Nutella on one and Peanut Butter on the other. Then smash them together and dip your cookie in hot chocolate. The nutella and peanut butter will melt together and give you a little taste of heaven.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm, I like AJ's treat! I'm sorry to hear how things are going right now, but glad you posted this post. I think we can all relate to how you were feeling at one time or another, such wise advice, so thank you! Wishing your family the best, may peace be with you!
ReplyDeleteCallie,
ReplyDeleteI love you. Thanks for sharing such inspired insights. I am so grateful and thrilled that you are so blessed with such wonderful personal revelation. Over the years I've seen you courageously face many challenges... always trusting in our Heavenly Father. Thank you for your example... Thank you for acknowledging the source of your strength...Thank you for being you.
Dad
Well, that was interesting. Last night, David and I were having family home evening and he kept saying, "I don't know why the Canlas' keep popping into my head."
ReplyDeleteDo you think we'd call after that? No. We didn't have a "Culinary Catastrophes" book with us to kick our butts into it.
Thank you for posting this and kicking our butts. We'll see you soon.
Callie,
ReplyDeleteI have learned so much from you since coming to live in your home. Interesting enough you have grown so much since you have married. I love the woman that you are and the strength and inner peace that you exude. I know sometimes you are about to burst, but your inner peace wins out through prayers and with Jon's support. Hard things are just that, but it is the refiner's fire that lifts us and brings us to greater heights. When one looks at the eternal aspect of each experience you begin realize just how wonderful it is that we know our Heavenly Father lives and that He knows each one of us personally and hears and answers our prayers.
You and Jon have been blessed with such a special spirit and he endures with a happy spirit about him.
My prayers are with Weston daily and each of you that you might feel of your Father's love and peace in your hearts.
Much love to you all.
Can I just say how thankful I am that we are friends? I love you, you are the best. Thanks for this post, it helped me. Please let me do something for you! Can I babysit sometime this week? Dinner? Whatever you need!
ReplyDelete