Tuesday, May 04, 2010

the crazies...

this morning was hard...well until about an hour ago, TODAY was hard. i'm fine now. it always ends up that way. but between a well-timed friend, a MAJOR dose of perspective (that i could only recently draw from) and a good, good man i'm happy to say i can sit down and still see some good from the last 10 hours. here are a few snippets from my day...

i had just walked downstairs when this wave of emotion/depression/hopelessness washed over me and i started bawling like a baby. i turned around and headed to our room and got on my knees. before i could start talking with my Maker to figure out what was going on, jon came in to see what was wrong. it went a little something like this...

jon: why are you crying?
me: ....
jon: callie, what's wrong? why are you crying?
me: i don't know!
jon: what?
me: i have no idea...

i told him i needed him to hold me. and he did. then i looked at him with all the sincerity i could muster (something was REALLY wrong and i NEEDED him to understand) and said, "i feel like i'm going crazy."

then he laughed like he's never laughed before. he said the was THE funniest thing i'd said to him in all our years of marriage. then i cried. and laughed. and cried. and then i took a nap.

sometimes laughter IS the best medicine.


after my aforementioned nap, i was sitting in jon's office checking my email. i was still a little weepy and jon called isaac in to give me a hug. isaac asked why i was crying and i looked at him and told him i didn't know. and he said, "oh, you mean the happy kind of crying?" once again, jon laughed and laughed and laughed. then so did i.


ila has recently become quite the homemaker. in the middle of my nap, she came in and told me over and over that she WANTED to help me fold laundry and put it away. (last week she took all her and ruby's clean clothes of our couch and proceeded to fold, hang up, and put away all of it.) i was too overcome with whatever was happening to take her up on her offer. and just 20 minutes ago she said, "mom, would you mind if i made your bed?" WHAT?!?!

i told her she could help me after i visited the ladies' room. during my visit i heard her say, "mooooooooooooom, i have a surprise for you. close your eyes when you come out." so i did. then she instructed me to open to my eyes. and i did...to a very well made bed and a very pleased little girl.


i don't know what happened to me today. but i'm grateful to feel like my normal self again. i do know i'm ridiculously hormonal, pretty sleep-deprived, and i've got a big decision to make in the next couple of months that is attracting its own share of adversity.

but i also know that life is good. hope keeps me afloat. i need to learn to be as patient with myself as the Lord is. my prayers were answered before any words left my lips. being a mom is hard, but it is the most real and meaningful thing i've ever done.

thank goodness for friends who listen, husbands who laugh, children who love and serve, and a plan of happiness that re-centers my focus. one of my favorite men said this...

"If you understand the great plan of happiness and follow it, what goes on in the world will not determine your happiness."


  1. thank you honesty.... only the strongest can be. love it. real.

  2. I love reading this. thank you.

  3. I wish I had a mirror to hold up that would reflect back to you what the rest of us see in you. You are doing brilliantly, Callie. You inspire.

  4. I love you Callie and I am so glad Jon laughed.

  5. Callie! I LOVE THIS! I have had virtually the craziest two weeks in a long time. I was having one of these days on Saturday, and as I was driving down the road bawling and pleading with the Lord, he strengthened me, and ironically enough told me to 'minister' which I did, I listened...He knows.

    Thank you for testifying, but mostly, thank you for the knowledge that I am normal! Tee hee.