Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Only when I have to be...


I've realized something as of late (besides the fact I still need to post pictures)...I can totally be supermom. And I'm not trying to sound cocky here...we all know this blog is probably where my honesty presents itself most often...so no self-involvement here, just candid honesty. (And this is NOT a solicitation for compliments either.)

It hit me today as I was heading home from Lulu's 9 month appointment, during which Chrissie had saved my booty and met me at the doctor's office to sit with the other kiddos in the waiting room while I was in the back with Lulu. Afterwards, we all made it into the car and got everyone buckled, with Johnny quatro as well (his mommy is becoming a master) and we started heading home. I realized in the bathroom of McDonald's as I was filling up bottles for babies and Isaac was using the bathroom that I was totally pulling a supermom today. I'd woken up up at 7:00, taken a shower before kids woke up, got kids breakfast, got kids dressed, and was out the door by 8:22 (my goal was 8:30) so when I realized on the freeway I had forgotten my purse, I had time to go back home and get it and I was still 5 minutes early for the appointment. And I was using the "happy mom" voice the whole morning...and it was genuine...completely effortless.

And to top this all off, Jon's been out of town since Sunday and gets back tonight and Sharon's out of town until April. It's almost like I don't do all this stuff until I'm backed into a corner and have no other option besides curling up in the fetal position, sucking my thumb, and rocking back and forth. I was like this too when I was prego with the twinners. Chrissie mentioned this a couple of nights ago...I just kept going and going and doing and doing.

Perhaps this is the start of what real adulthood and motherhood really entails. I always get so nervous and depressed before Jon goes out of town and I'm always looking for things, people, or whatever to fill the time with all the kids alone. And everyone, especially our beloved Uncle Beal, is always so willing and kind to hang out and help out...even when she's on the verge of bronchitis.

I guess I've just been trying to protect myself from what I'm scared of most...actually sitting down and playing with and being with all four of my kids all alone. But today taught me what I really am capable of...and I can do it well and it brought me joy. I guess my fear has been keeping me from doing what's best for my kids AND for me.

So this post ended up being longer than I'd anticipated, but I needed it. So here's to confronting our fears and realizing that I'm good at this thing called motherhood.

9 comments:

  1. You rock at this thing called motherhood. Thanks for rocking at sisterhood, too. This magnification is a REAL power. It's humbling to feel it and humbling to read about when you feel it, too.

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  2. I wish you could impose your face on that super mom photo! Good job Callie, I should remind my self to never complaine about my ONE sweet Scout. 8:22 AM, I would be driving like a drunken. Good for you for doing the complete opposite.

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  3. You, of all people, should be allowed to pat yourself on the back every once in a while. People get good grades and the professor knows that they did well. Others get a promotion at work. Who knows when a mom is able to juggle everything smoothly? You should be able to feel like you have accomplished something great. So go on sister!
    Mo

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  4. This post has great timing because you had a brief cameo in a dream last night. I was sitting bored in a class when I looked out the doorway and saw you walking down the hall with a pack of kids in your arms. I said aloud, "Callie's a good mom," and then you exited stage right. Weird.

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  5. Thanks Mo! I'm feeling the love from the windy city...and for sure give us a call when your in the beehive state.

    Dann...could you be more awesome? I now understand this thing we know as LOL...i totally did dude, loud enough for Jon to ask what was so funny from all the way upstairs...LOST, Thursday March 27th, 7:30...be there. Peace.

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  6. And Sarah, everyone is allowed to feel whatever they want with their first kiddo...we've never done it before! Hope your enjoying sunny CA and know the Canlas clan is missing you!

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  7. Being a mom does take special powers. Thanks for your post, juggling four kids with bathroom breaks, feeding and naps is amazing.

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  8. You're our inspiration Callie! You're the perfect mom and homemaker...love all your talents!

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  9. Aw Callie, I watch you and feel like you flow like warm syrup on a pancake. It looks so effortless coming from you and You exude love, always, and are so organized and spontaneous. Good job and for the record, I think you are a super mom. No doubt about it. Lots of love to you and God bless you in your continued efforts to be who you are, a super mom.

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