So on the way home from second Sunday dinner tonight (during which Jon was at church working on tithing, Ila had shattered, yes shattered, a drinking glass with her brute strength and a fork, Isaac had a bloody nose, and Ruby had filled her diaper with liquid poop) Isaac said something to me in his utter exhaustion for which I hadn't prepared myself. I could almost imagine him saying it to me later in life after I'd made his curfew 10:30 on the weekends or not let him hang out with certain friends, but never in a million years have I thought he'd say this to me as a four year old.
After I'd told him (and not even yelled at him) that it was time to be quiet until we got home, he said with all the audacity he could muster,"Mom, I love Lola and I love Ila but I don't love y...". Despite the fact he didn't finish his thought in it's entirety, he made his point.
It kind of got me thinking. I know my four year old loves me. But now that I'm over the initial shock of what was said, I realize the importance of love. I'd never want someone I value to come even close to experiencing those feelings I had in the first moments after he said those words. So during this all important week of love, I'm grateful Isaac helped me come to understand that loving people and doing and saying things to facilitate them FEELING my love is paramount. Camille, aka Uncle Beal, is cherished in our family for always reminding us that love is all we need. And tonight that rang true for me more than ever. I love you Isaac.
It really is amazing how powerful love really is, and how love or the lack thereof can really change your life. The other day Jasper did something similar. He had gotten in trouble earlier in the day and said sorry, but a few hours later he said to Paul, "Dad, you know, I'm NOT sorry for what I did." We too were stunned by the audacity of a four year old.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis story makes me sad for the time I wrote on the family white board "I HATE you, Mom!!!" because she made me clean my room instead of letting me go to a party. I've tried to make it up to her as an adult by saying "I love you" regularly.
ReplyDeleteAren't kids the greatest for teaching us lessons? Being a mom is so hard! I thank my mom all the time for raising us.
ReplyDeletep.s. sorry i am such a space cadet and totally forgot you guys were coming. I hate myself. Later this week I promise!
As a mother we try to corral the negative energy that our kids have into a positive energy. When they do not appreciate what we are trying to do, and want to exert their own power, it is one of the most painful moments in a parents life. Love never ends and is a love unfeined coming from a parent. We never give up and we always keep loving no matter what. One of my goals in life as a mother was to be sure that each of my children knew, and felt that they were loved unconditionally, no matter what. It is an ongoing trek with your children no matter what their ages are. I am still working at it.
ReplyDeleteOuch, ouch, ouch. That hurt even to read. I love how you were able to turn that experience into a little life lesson and apply it to yourself. So true, so true.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the reasons why you are amazing. I think I would have reacted like a 4-year-old.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, after your visit the other day I just remembered I had to read about this experience. You're such a darling mom and I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who sheds a few tears every now and then :) Thanks for being so real and honest and sharing such a great mom story.
ReplyDeletethis actually brought tears to my eyes. nice blog!
ReplyDeleteThis also brought tears to my eyes! You are amazing to see the wonderful story behind it!
ReplyDeleteI was just telling Michael something that hurt my feelings that Carma said.. and says more than I want to hear.
We will be sitting cuddling or something and she will say "Mom you nice now!".. as if to say that MOST of the time I am a horrible mean monster. Maybe I am and I don't know it.. but this sure does help me want to be better even MORE of the time.