the dichotomy of his truth

so i finished james frey's ummm, book? i'm not sure what people are calling it these days...maybe it's even old news by now, but i finished it. jon and i both started it in san francisco and we were both so taken by it that we had to trade back and forth every chapter. neither one of us wanted to put it down. but that was when oprah was still defending him and before she tore him apart on national television. so i'd started it thinking that it was this amazing account of personal triumph over tragedy, odds, and drugs. and i finished it thinking it was an amazing story definining the power of choice...and it's dichotomous because he wasn't truthful, but the essence of what he wrote about is...thus the dichotomy of his truth.

i don't know if anyone will even read it now...i didn't know if i'd finish it either. i couldn't decide if the whole experience would be tainted. so about 2 weeks after starting a memoir, i finished a work of fiction. but the theme of what he's teaching his readers is something i've not been able to forget since i finished the book. we'll call him the protagonist, for argument's sake...he has this horrible battle with addiction, rage, regret, withdrawl, body over spirit...and in the end he makes the CHOICE to take control. he refuses to subscribe to the principles of AA and God and the 12 steps and decides that for him, he will choose. every situation, every temptation becomes a choice as to whether or not his life will go on or if it will end in the sense he has lost control to his addiction and his demons.

i felt for such a large part of my life that i was just a passenger and that i had no control over what happened in my life, that i could only react and do nothing else. uganda, uruguay, and jon all together helped to empower me to know that i have choices. this may not be new for some people, but until about 5 years ago it was for me. and i've just been more empowered since then. and i'm not saying i have total control over my life, but i've learned to be proactive when i can and when i need to and i've learned to try to be patient and look for meaning in what's happening when i can't. it's ironic, because mr. frey reinforced to me exactly what he was trying to avoid...the serenity prayer, espoused by AA states, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference".

so, i liked the book...as a literary work, it's still not so respected, but as inspiration and a reminder to endure well, he did it...thus the dichotomy of his truth